Part 4: How to Stay Motivated for the Long-Run

We have covered some strategies for making it easier to get motivated and start a task. What about maintaining motivation over the long-run? How can you stay motivated for good?

How to Stay Motivated by Using the Goldilocks Rule

Imagine you are playing tennis. If you try to play a serious match against a four-year-old, you will quickly become bored. The match is too easy. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you try to play a serious match against a professional tennis player like Roger Federer or Serena Williams, you will find yourself demotivated for a different reason. The match is too difficult.

Compare these experiences to playing tennis against someone who is your equal. As the game progresses, you win a few points and you lose a few points. You have a chance of winning the match, but only if you really try. Your focus narrows, distractions fade away, and you find yourself fully invested in the task at hand. The challenge you are facing is “just manageable.” Victory is not guaranteed, but it is possible. Tasks like these, science has found, are the most likely to keep us motivated in the long term.

Human beings love challenges, but only if they are within the optimal zone of difficulty. Tasks that are significantly below your current abilities are boring. Tasks that are significantly beyond your current abilities are discouraging. But tasks that are right on the border of success and failure are incredibly motivating to our human brains. We want nothing more than to master a skill just beyond our current horizon.

We can call this phenomenon The Goldilocks Rule. The Goldilocks Rule states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities. Not too hard. Not too easy. Just right.

Working on tasks that adhere to the Goldilocks Rule is one of the keys to maintaining long-term motivation. If you find yourself feeling unmotivated to work on a task, it is often because it has drifted into an area of boredom or been shoved into an area of great difficulty. You need to find a way to pull your tasks back to the border of your abilities where you feel challenged, but capable.

How to Reach Peak Motivation

This wonderful blend of happiness and peak performance is sometimes referred to as flow. Flow is what athletes and performers experience when they are “in the zone.” Flow is the mental state you experience when you are so focused on the task at hand that the rest of the world fades away.

In many ways, we could describe flow as your state of peak motivation. You would be hard-pressed to find a state where you are more driven to continue the task you are working on.

One factor that researchers have found is linked to flow states is whether or not you are following The Goldilocks Rule we mentioned earlier. If you are working on challenges of optimal difficulty, then you will not only be motivated but also experience a boost in happiness. As psychologist Gilbert Brim put it, “One of the important sources of human happiness is working on tasks at a suitable level of difficulty, neither too hard nor too easy.”

In order to reach this state of peak performance, however, you not only need to work on challenges at the right degree of difficulty, but also measure your immediate progress. As psychologist Jonathan Haidt explains, one of the keys to reaching a flow state is that “you get immediate feedback about how you are doing at each step.”

Thus, we can say that measurement is a key factor in motivation. To put it more precisely, facing an optimal challenge and receiving immediate feedback about the progress you are making toward that challenge are two of the most critical components of peak motivation.

For more on the importance of measurement and feedback, check out this article: What Are You Measuring in Your Life?

Source: http://jamesclear.com/motivation

Visualization - why we should all be doing it

The importance of creating a clear mental image of your desired goal.

How the subconscious mind works -
All of our results have and are being dictated by our subconscious
Our results in life will always be congruent with the beliefs that we hold at a subconscious level.
These beliefs - more often than not are self limiting
Installed as a child
Inherited from our parents
Operate from a level that we are unaware of.
In order to change our results we need to  change our beliefs about ourselves
Maxwell Maltz - Psycho Cybernetics
Our subconscious is a cybernetic device
This means our subconscious, through whatever course of action we take will lead us to the destination that we have stored in our minds.
How does this happen?


The beliefs we hold at a subconscious level influence our conscious thoughts which influence our actions which influence our results - SIMPLE!


When we change our beliefs we influence the whole chain of command from the deepest level.
E.g. A student that is told they are only capable of a D grade may achieve an A in one exam but will gravitate back because of the  belief that has been installed that they are only capable of a D
In order to be an A student that person must have the belief that they are.
Effectively the majority of us are running on subconscious beliefs that are stopping us for reaching any kind of self potential.
These beliefs work constantly in the background influencing your conscious thought in order to be upheld.
Most of the time without even realising. How does this happen?


The beliefs we hold at a subconscious level influence our conscious thoughts which influence our actions which influence our results - SIMPLE!
When we change our beliefs we influence the whole chain of command from the deepest level.
How can visualisation help this?
Our subconscious has no ability to distinguish between what is real and what is not.


The language of the subconscious is images and feelings
If we close our eyes and imagine with feeling then to our subconscious it is real!
By visualizing we can change the self limiting beliefs that do not serve our interest and replace them with empowering beliefs
Our subconscious will strive to make that belief a reality
through changing the thoughts that arrive in our conscious and thus influencing us to take different action and as a result creating a new reality based on the new belief
What to visualise
Decide what you want, what you want to be, whatever it is, and then hold that in your mind as if it has already happened.
Try to use all your senses to emotionalise the images.
Here’s an example - You want a new car
Picture every detail, listen to the engine, feel the leather on the steering wheel,
Smell the air freshener, experience every detail.
Here’s another example:
You want to earn crazy money..
See your bank statement with the balance you desire, imagine eating in the expensive restaurant you could never afford before, taste the food, listen to the conversation, look at the decor.
Picture your dream 5*  holiday, feel the sand under your feet and the sun beating down on you, listen to the sounds and absorb every detail.
21 day of repetition and it's done!
A repeated action for 21 days becomes an ingrained new habit.

As stated before your subconscious cannot differentiate between these emotionalised images and real ones.
In  a very short period of time your subconscious will be working with these thought in the background and doing everything it can to bring them to reality through the process of conscious influence - action - reality creation.
Build Self Confidence
This is not only important for material purposes.
Self limiting beliefs and lack of self worth hold us back in all areas
Picture the person you would like to be
Love, confidence, abundance, self worth - create the image and really allow yourself to feel that.
With a little time and practice old beliefs will begin to be replaced with the new and your subconscious will go right to work to make that your default reality.

A Guide To Mindfulness + Free Workbook

Do any of these sound like you:

• I have to write three blog posts a week because that’s what everyone else does.
• I need to run to lose weight. My best friend started running and she lost weight.
• I just have to have that new foundation.
• I post on social media three times a day because that’s what the experts say to do, but no, I don’t really pay attention to what I write.
• I just put up a picture on Instagram each day but I don’t have a plan in place.
• I never have a plan when I go to the grocery store. I just load up the car with whatever looks good.

I have to, I need to, that’s what everyone else is doing…are you seeing the problem yet?

Let’s get real here: How many things do you do each day because you either 1) feel like you have to or 2) because everyone else does it that way? AND how many things do you do just for the hell of it, without really thinking about what or why?

You see, this used to be me. I’ve always done things because that’s what everyone said I had to do. In fact, I spent so many years living this way, I didn’t know how to listen to myself. I didn’t know there needed to be a reason why I did things. I was simply going through the motions day after day, never really pausing to ask myself, “Why am I doing this?”

The key to mindfulness is asking the WHY. (<<< tweet that!)

My Focus for 2017: Mindfulness

Not so long ago, I decided enough was enough. I was going through those motions, checking off the to-do list each day, getting things done (technically), but I had no idea what my PURPOSE was. What was the purpose of my blog? What was the purpose of me using Instagram or Pinterest? Why did I participate in Twitter chats each week? Why did I care so much about art journaling?

BONUS: CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE MINDFULNESS WORKBOOK

As I dug deeper into my online business and blog, this WHY-questioning started spilling into the other areas of my life: Why did I always watch T.V. while I ate lunch? Why wasn’t I willing to work out more? Why did I have a drawer full of makeup I never wore…and on top of that: why did I even wear makeup? Why would I buy food at the grocery store and never eat it? Why, when a bagel and apple were sitting right next to each other on the counter, I always went for the bagel? Why did I own so much…stuff?

And because I promised to be real with you, let me tell you: I didn’t have an answer to ANY of these questions. I’ve told you those light-shining-from-above moments are rare, but oh man did this realization knock me on my butt. How could I be twenty-seven years old and not know I was living a life full of “Just because”? I admit this realization shook me—for a couple of weeks.

But since I’ve dealt with blocks like this before, I knew what to do: I kept journaling, I kept  writing my morning pages, I kept brainstorming, I kept talking (mainly to my dog—she’s a great listener by the way). Even though the path was blocked and I couldn’t see where I was going, I kept walking. I continued to place one foot in front of the other, and guess what? The confusion and frustration started to clear away. I knew what I had to do: I need to have a PURPOSE. I needed to act with INTENTION. I needed to be MINDFUL of who I was and how I was spending my time.

What is Mindfulness?

Psychology Today sums up mindfulness perfectly:

“Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”

Don’t let life pass you by; live in the moment. When I read that quote, I knew exactly what I had been doing wrong for almost three decades: I had been letting life pass me by. I was simply a bystander.

Are you going to let life pass you by? Or are you going to live it? (<<< tweet this!)

I don’t want to be a bystander anymore. I don’t want to go to bed at night wondering where my day went. I don’t want to wake up twenty years from now not knowing what I’ve done with my life. And I’ll be honest with you: I don’t want to write blog posts just for the sake of writing blog posts. I want to write meaningful posts that inspire you. I don’t want to eat just because I’m “bored.” I want to eat to be healthy and have energy. I don’t want to read just to read. I want to think; I want to grow. I want to have a purpose. I want to know my WHY’s and I want to be intentional about how I spend my time.

How Can You Make Time for Mindfulness?

Journal

And in any form: daily journal, art journal, brain dump, bullet journal, write morning pages, freewrite. Regardless of how you prefer to journal, start today. Start right now. We think we know everything in our minds; we don’t. Continual writing (and even drawing and painting) help us shift into our subconscious and uncover the deep stuff. I always tell people I don’t what I think until I write it down. Writing brings the real me forward. And it will bring the real YOU forward too.

Do This: When you first wake up in the morning, write for ten minutes (by hand). You don’t even need to get out of bed. Just grab a pad of paper and pen and write everything and anything that pops into your mind.

Hit the Pause Button and Listen

We live in a loud and busy world. There always seems to be something going on. We’re checking our email, playing games, chatting on social media, reading a book and listening to a podcast at the same time because we are positive we’re the exception to the multitasking-doesn’t-work rule. How many times a day do you just stop? Really? How many?

What is the worst thing that could happen if you work up twenty minutes early to spend time by yourself and just listen and breathe? No phone—just you alone with the quiet. Is everything at work going to come to halt if you step outside for five minutes (again, without the phone)? Will your children or husband starve if you spend ten minutes in your room by yourself a few times a day?

I’m being serious here: What is the worst that could happen?

Do This: 1) Set a timer on your phone for three times you know you'll be able to pause. For example, 6 am, 12 pm, and 8 pm. When you timer goes off, excuse yourself for at least five minutes to focus on your breathing, count backwards from 50, or just enjoy the few minutes you have. 2) Pay attention to your day and at any time you feel stressed or are losing focus, step outside for five minutes and breathe.

Ask “Why?”

Do you know why you always eat that particular brand of cereal every morning? Do you know why you share quotes on Twitter? Do you know why you wrote the post that went up on your blog last week? Do you know why you bought the clothes in your closet or the food in your fridge? Do you know why you want to learn a new language?

Our days fly by so quickly, we rarely stop long enough to ask ourselves why we are doing something. And I bet if you really thought about the why behind your daily tasks, you could eliminate some real time-wasters.

Do This: Make a list of each of the following: tasks you do at home, personal tasks, and work tasks. Then, and this is important, write down WHY you do each of these tasks. Be honest with yourself here. If there are any tasks you are doing simply to pass the time or because you feel as though you have to, eliminate these them from your day.

I’m making 2017 a year of MINDFULNESS and I’m challenging you to do the same. Let’s eliminate those activities we do because we feel like we have to. Let’s stop standing on the sidelines as life passes us by. Let's be aware of and mindful of our days instead.

BONUS: CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE MINDFULNESS WORKBOOK!

Are you willing to spend time this year being mindful?

And if you have one, tell me your word for 2017!

Source:http://www.byemilyscott.com/blog/a-guide-to-mindfulness

Golden Rules of Goal Setting

Five Rules to Set Yourself Up for Success

Have you thought about what you want to be doing in five years' time? Are you clear about what your main objective at work is at the moment? Do you know what you want to have achieved by the end of today?

If you want to succeed, you need to set goals. Without goals you lack focus and direction. Goal setting not only allows you to take control of your life's direction; it also provides you a benchmark for determining whether you are actually succeeding. Think about it: Having a million dollars in the bank is only proof of success if one of your goals is to amass riches. If your goal is to practice acts of charity, then keeping the money for yourself is suddenly contrary to how you would define success.

To accomplish your goals, however, you need to know how to set them. You can't simply say, "I want" and expect it to happen. Goal setting is a process that starts with careful consideration of what you want to achieve, and ends with a lot of hard work to actually do it. In between there are some very well defined steps that transcend the specifics of each goal. Knowing these steps will allow you to formulate goals that you can accomplish.

Here are our five golden rules of goal setting:

The Five Golden Rules

1. Set Goals that Motivate You

When you set goals for yourself, it is important that they motivate you: this means making sure that they are important to you, and that there is value in achieving them. If you have little interest in the outcome, or they are irrelevant given the larger picture, then the chances of you putting in the work to make them happen are slim. Motivation is key to achieving goals.

Set goals that relate to the high priorities in your life. Without this type of focus, you can end up with far too many goals, leaving you too little time to devote to each one. Goal achievement requires commitment, so to maximize the likelihood of success, you need to feel a sense of urgency and have an "I must do this" attitude. When you don't have this, you risk putting off what you need to do to make the goal a reality. This in turn leaves you feeling disappointed and frustrated with yourself, both of which are de-motivating. And you can end up in a very destructive "I can't do anything or be successful at anything" frame of mind.

Tip:

To make sure your goal is motivating, write down why it's valuable and important to you. Ask yourself, "If I were to share my goal with others, what would I tell them to convince them it was a worthwhile goal?" You can use this motivating value statement to help you if you start to doubt yourself or lose confidence in your ability to actually make the goal happen.

2. Set SMART Goals

You have probably heard of SMART goals  already. But do you always apply the rule? The simple fact is that for goals to be powerful, they should be designed to be SMART. There are many variations of what SMART stands for, but the essence is this – goals should be:

• Specific.
• Measurable.
• Attainable.
• Relevant.
• Time Bound.

Set Specific Goals

Your goal must be clear and well defined. Vague or generalized goals are unhelpful because they don't provide sufficient direction. Remember, you need goals to show you the way. Make it as easy as you can to get where you want to go by defining precisely where you want to end up.

Set Measurable Goals

Include precise amounts, dates, and so on in your goals so you can measure your degree of success. If your goal is simply defined as "To reduce expenses" how will you know when you have been successful? In one month's time if you have a 1 percent reduction or in two years' time when you have a 10 percent reduction? Without a way to measure your success you miss out on the celebration that comes with knowing you have actually achieved something.

Set Attainable Goals

Make sure that it's possible to achieve the goals you set. If you set a goal that you have no hope of achieving, you will only demoralise yourself and erode your confidence.

However, resist the urge to set goals that are too easy. Accomplishing a goal that you didn't have to work hard for can be anticlimactic at best, and can also make you fear setting future goals that carry a risk of non-achievement. By setting realistic yet challenging goals, you hit the balance you need. These are the types of goals that require you to "raise the bar" and they bring the greatest personal satisfaction.

Set Relevant Goals

Goals should be relevant to the direction you want your life and career to take. By keeping goals aligned with this, you'll develop the focus you need to get ahead and do what you want. Set widely scattered and inconsistent goals, and you'll fritter your time – and your life – away.

Set Time-Bound Goals

You goals must have a deadline. Again, this means that you know when you can celebrate success. When you are working on a deadline, your sense of urgency increases and achievement will come that much quicker.

3. Set Goals in Writing

The physical act of writing down a goal makes it real and tangible. You have no excuse for forgetting about it. As you write, use the word "will" instead of "would like to" or "might." For example, "I will reduce my operating expenses by 10 percent this year," not "I would like to reduce my operating expenses by 10 percent this year." The first goal statement has power and you can "see" yourself reducing expenses, the second lacks passion and gives you an excuse if you get sidetracked.

Tip 1:

Frame your goal statement positively. If you want to improve your retention rates say, "I will hold on to all existing employees for the next quarter" rather than "I will reduce employee turnover." The first one is motivating; the second one still has a get-out clause "allowing" you to succeed even if some employees leave.

Tip 2:

If you use a To-Do List , make yourself a To-Do List template that has your goals at the top of it. If you use an Action Program , then your goals should be at the top of your Project Catalog.

Post your goals in visible places to remind yourself every day of what it is you intend to do. Put them on your walls, desk, computer monitor, bathroom mirror or refrigerator as a constant reminder.

 

4. Make an Action Plan

This step is often missed in the process of goal setting. You get so focused on the outcome that you forget to plan all of the steps that are needed along the way. By writing out the individual steps, and then crossing each one off as you complete it, you'll realize that you are making progress towards your ultimate goal. This is especially important if your goal is big and demanding, or long-term. Read our article on Action Plans  for more on how to do this.

5. Stick With It!

Remember, goal setting is an ongoing activity not just a means to an end. Build in reminders to keep yourself on track, and make regular time-slots available to review your goals. Your end destination may remain quite similar over the long term, but the action plan you set for yourself along the way can change significantly. Make sure the relevance, value, and necessity remain high.

Key Points

Goal setting is much more than simply saying you want something to happen. Unless you clearly define exactly what you want and understand why you want it the first place, your odds of success are considerably reduced. By following the Five Golden Rules of Goal Setting you can set goals with confidence and enjoy the satisfaction that comes along with knowing you achieved what you set out to do.

So, what will you decide to accomplish today?

How to Apply the Golden Rules to New Year Resolutions

Click on the link below to see how you can use the Five Golden Rules for setting your New Year Resolutions represented in an infographic:


https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/new-year-infographic.htm

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Source: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_90.htm

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